An Ode To Mothers
Happy Mother's Day
As I was sipping my morning coffee, I was contemplating what I wanted to say to the Mothers’ of the world on this socially curated day. I received a glorious card from my soon to be 18-year-old daughter and I felt my heart swell with love, and I heard, ‘It is worth the effort’.
What do I mean by ‘worth the effort’?
After raising three humans into adulthood, I now realize what all the effort was about. Raising humans is probably the hardest job on the planet and generates the least amount of regard (at least here in Western culture). I remember the ten years of sleep deprivation, the surrendering of my body (that no longer felt like my body), the constantly changing shape of my body as I carried these humans for those 9 moons, the guilt, the shame, the anger, the tears, the constant rushing, the laughter, the awe, the growth, the pain, the triumphs, the buckets of vomit, the ever present anxiety of them running into the streets, the sleepless nights as they ventured out as teens, the discomfort of having those hard conversations, the power struggles, the hard ‘no’ and the tears that followed, the celebration of milestones, and now, the pleasure of enjoying life with my adult children as they enter the fledgling phase of taking flight.
Being a Mother is never ending, and ever out-pouring. Too often, we (the mothers) forget to refill the inner well. It can become dry and we begin to wither. I have been there - illness, divorce, and substantial loss was enough to wake me to my inner needs as the giver of life for the family. Turning towards the interior world of the soul for healing and restoration.
As the Mother you are the heart-beat, the pulse, of the family unit. Whether doing this alone or with a partner, your wellbeing sets the tone for the families wellbeing. And yet, too often, it is an act of selfless surrender to carry the profound work of being and doing the job of ‘The Mother’. So when I say it was worth the effort, I am referring to all of the above. The ‘work’ of the mother is both inwards and outwards.
Standing here, now, on my 47th birthday which coincides with Mother’s Day, I can’t help but let tears of gratitude drip like seeds into the soil/soul of this earth and nourish all that surrounds me. I love loving my children, and I love being loved by them. The reason it is worth the effort to keep working towards showing up as the best version of yourself, even when life is messy, is because love is an incredible healing force.
And so, on this day I send a blessing to all Mothers:
May you lean into the mess. Embrace the uncertainty. Stay open and present. Imperfection is perfect. Know that life is ever unfolding and your children will only be as they are, in this moment; changing with the winds. May you be celebrated and seen; May you see and celebrate. May you know that you hold the key within to raise the children you have been blessed with. May you know that there is no right way. May love guide you and when it becomes unbearably hard (as it will and does), may you surrender your tears and let them be seen. You are deeply important and so is your work as a Mother. You are cherished, even if you don’t feel it. You hold wisdom within, let it shine. Dance. Put your feet in the dirt. Let your body be held by the nourishing waters. Burn your journals in the transformative fires. Let your tears soften your heart. Know you are loved.
Blessings to you all.
Jennifer